Tag Archives: Love

Sex in the Garden City

Well a lot has been happening since my last post and boy how things have changed.

To summarise, I last left of with Beardy, who in true form turned out to be another Houdini, totally vanished of the face of the earth. No bothered. Went on another date with some other guy which went well but wasn’t feeling it and now for the biggie! KIC turned into my own Mr. Big.  Yeah, I cant quite believe it either. I’m not even too sure how it happened really. One day he just opened up. As you may or may not know I left my party on NYE to go and see him. Well after I left him in the street i didn’t hear from him for a while and got a bit worried as he doesn’t know my town so I messaged the 2 Jamie’s, I got talking to the one he wasn’t with the next day just a few polite responses and idle chit chat. Or so I thought. Turns out the Jamie went back and said something to Big that changed his mind about us.

He wants the full shabang. He asked me to be his girlfriend a few weeks ago and I am yet to give him an answer. After everything that we he has put me through I believe that my reasons for holding out are valid. I mean, Self preservation is my number one priority here. He understands and is being patient but after over a year of on again off again i think he can wait just a little bit longer.

When I told Kate all of this she wasn’t happy at all, I know i gave her permission to slap me but I’m glad she didnt. I was sat in her car when i told her so it would have been one hell of a slap if she did. She’s warming up to the idea now i believe, she said to me the other day, “You’ll be together soon”

I don’t know if we will though, The whole time I have known him he has been trying to get into the MRP which I have supported him through, even though I am not keen on the idea at all. I will continue to support him, and he has made it clear that he still wants to commit to us when he goes in. Well what has he got to loose. Nothing. I’ve done the whole boyfriend in the forces before and I got bombarded with paranoid emails, family members checking up on me and a whole heap of worry that I could have done without whenever he got deployed somewhere. That’s a whole other story though.

Back to Big. I was working valentines day and then had arrangements in Brighton that weekend so I didn’t see him. The following week we went into London for the day. His treat (we’ve always gone dutch before). we went for lunch and also went to the The London Dungeons and also we had a night time ride on the The London Eye, It was the best Valentines day i had ever had.

We have been spending lots of time together lately and he practically is my boyfriend, I mean he drove me to an interview for uni and he waited all day in his car for me to finish. I guess all of this stuff is normal but I’m starting to see that I have never really had this sort of relationship before. We have been through so much and we aren’t even together yet.

Anyway, just thought I’d update you on the big stuff.


With a New Year comes a New Contender

So I’m starting to realise that the sparks aren’t flying with me and M. I first met him when things ended with KIC and I was looking for someone to replace him or just to keep me busy so I wouldn’t sit there agonising over texting him!

I was a date whore, 7 dates in 7 days was the challenge I set myself and I almost did it. Two months later M is the only one other than L who is left on the scene but he’s my ex so that doesn’t count.

The last time I saw M was just before Christmas, he came over, we watched a film and then I fell asleep on him, I really miss that part of being in a relationship, it’s so nice instead of relying on two hot water bottles and strategically placed pillows to keep you warm in the night! I only dozed off so it wasn’t that bad, however when I woke up we had a little kiss and he put the moves on me, I wasn’t up for it, and I don’t think I am. I mean I enjoy the dating part with him, and the conversation, and he seems like a great guy and he has these lovely blue sparkly eyes, but there is no spark!!

I do wonder if I’m not over KIC, after new year and everything, he’s really ruffled my feathers, however, there is a new guy. I’m rather looking forward to going out on a date with him, he seems really cool, pretty down to earth and he has an amazing beard! Just like my type of guy! A few of my friends have always said with past guys, i’d never put you together, well I wonder what they will think of him?! He’s FIT! also initial M! There’s a new M in town! and he wears a beard rather well! 🙂


Two halves of One Soul

This weekend I am very much in love with the idea of true love.

Yesterday my sister married a boy she met at university. They started as friends for many years until he started to ignore her, She didn’t like it and after 2/3 years they are now married. After 13 years of perseverance on his part, they are now starting their life together as husband and wife.

The whole day was beautiful, I’ve never been more excited in my life and I think it will be hard to top, maybe my own wedding one day.

When I think of my sister and her new husband I’m reminded of a tale by Aristophanes, he once said that humans had four legs, four arms and two heads, the gods were scared of the great power that humans possessed and they were threatened by their power so he split them in half, creating humans as we are today, cursing us to search the world over for our other half, I believe that my sister has found her other half, they are two halves of the same soul who have found each other and are destined to spend the rest of their lives together as a whole.

Seeing them together and the glow that surrounded both of them makes me feel warm in my core. The love I felt yesterday has renewed my faith in love. My sister has been positively glowing for the last year, and the look in my new brothers eyes when they were stood in the isle made me cry. He looked like a child, engulfed in happiness and I could hear my sister giggling, they were like children on Christmas Day.

I love them both so much I thought I’d change my whole topic just for them. And as my new brother claims to be my most avid reader, then this one is for you loops 🙂

Happy honeymoon

Xxxx

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Time for an ultimatum?

It’s been a while since my last post so I will quickly catch you up with Keeping it casual and I.
Flash back to Flat Pack Furniture Casual and myself went to Ikea and bought some bits. One day a few weeks he had spent the night at mine and in the morning he asked me if I would help him put it together. So we went for breakfast and then I followed him in my car to his. Lots of cars on his drive way. His mums and his dads. Needless to say I was shocked. Bear in mind that in the whole time I have known him I have never met anyone from his life. So I met his parents. Twice now to be precise. On another occasion he was talking to one of his friends and said “Hold on ***** will know” and then proceeded to ask me a question, shock number 2! So his friends also know about me. There you go all caught up.

Ultimatum –

1. A final statement of terms made by one party to another.
2. A statement, especially in diplomatic negotiations, that expresses or implies the threat of serious penalties if the terms are not accepted.
I’m starting to wonder if its about time that I pulled my socks up and moved on from Keeping it casual. After seeing each other for 10 months on and off I think that I am going to have to say it how it is. I cant really fault him though,  from early on he has said that he cant give me what I want and I have continued to plod along thinking “I’m OK with it” when really I am far from OK with it. Part of me wants to be with him, I’m not sure what part of me it is exactly, it could be my competitive side thinking, I’m going to make him want me!! I’m going to win!  Or it could just be my lady parts because I enjoy him! Or another option is that I always want what I cant have!
Lately when we have seen each other it has been what I would call more like quality time together, our work schedules are conflicting somewhat at the moment so when we have been seeing each other it hasn’t just all been about one thing. One day I went around his after work, he washed my car, I made small talk with his Dad and brother and then we went back to mine had some dinner and then went to the cinema. This is not the first time we have been to the cinema but it is the first time this year so that tells you how long ago it was! He has started telling more about himself and things in his past, some of the things I am one of very few people to know, and he has just started to be more open in general.
Last week he stayed over, and we had a really nice evening, my house mate went to bed early and we stayed up watching movies until very early in the morning and then we went to bed. In the morning we where talking as we always do and he comes out with “last night was different” when I asked him what he meant he couldn’t explain himself very well, he was referring to our bedtime activities, not the films. He then went on to say that over the last 10 months since he has been seeing me he is the happiest he has been in a very long time, and how he wishes he could have met me when he was 16. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! I was rather pissed off to say the least and for a change he was spot on with his emotional radar and he picked up on it. Bad joo joo! He then tried to explain himself further but as I was already pissed only one thing could have made me happy again at that time.  So he continued… “I just mean that you make me feel good about myself, I can be myself around you and say what I want and I know that you wont take the piss out of me or judge me”, “If I met you when I was 16 things would be so different now”
…….
I felt like my head was going to explode. It took all of my power not to turn around and scream in his face. I was just laying there with my back turned to him so he couldn’t see my face, I was silent because I was scared of what I might say. He then asked “Are you ok? You’ve gone quiet” my reply ” I’m fine” it was all I could muster but all I could think was If I make you happy then why the fuck don’t you want to be with me, You say since you have been seeing me your the happiest you have been in your life but you still don’t want to commit to me, despite the fact that we are clearly amazing together! No, I didn’t know you when you where 16 but I bloody know you know so make it different!  And last but not least NO I AM NOT FUCKING OK!!!!
I wish now that instead of thinking all of this I had just come out and said it! Then there would be no need for an ultimatum as it would already be over…. Or not.
What a friend of mine did gave me the idea of how to do it. It worked for him and next month he is marrying the girl and they are going to live happily ever after 🙂 They had been friends for years, and they saw each other regularly and he loved her, so it was obviously hard for him to have these feelings towards her and have her not admit that she felt the same so, he refused to see her for months until she realised that she did love and miss him and in turn want to be with him. Whenever I see them together it makes me happy to see two people so in love. I’m hoping that I have the balls to do what my friend did. It can only end one of two ways, but in all honestly I don’t see myself walking down the happily ever after route just yet, not with casual anyway.
To be or not to be? That my friends is the question.