I have been out on a few dates with M now, and even on our very first date he mentioned dating rules…
There are “rules” for everything these days, from how to survive a Zombie Apocalypse, The Skinny Girl Rules to Rules for online dating. I haven’t dated in the typical sense before, I usually have 3 dates and then either fall madly in love or become so terribly bored that I just delete the guy from existence. So, I am not sure of what normal dating is classed as. As I said, ever since Date 1 with M he has mentioned “dating rules”, and how he doesn’t understand them, or What is classed as breaking the rules? It has played on my mind ever since, and seeing as the other day he asked if I even liked him I am certain that I am not clued up on these dating rules, so it has made me think even more on what these dating rules might be, also if there are rules then does that mean that there is also a dating timeline?? If there is then I am screwed!
I’ve set about researching these so called “Dating Rules” and I have even come across a book, “The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right” – WOW This book really is something, below are the first 20 rules… FYI The parts in Italics, are my comments to said rules.
- Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other” – What the hell does this mean? Be yourself?
- Don’t Talk to a Man First (and Don’t Ask Him to Dance) – These days your not likely to get anywhere with this one, especially if your searching online like me
- Don’t Stare at Men or Talk Too Much – If I think someone is attractive I cant help but stare, people naturally look at the most attractive thing in the room
- Don’t Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date- So pay for the whole thing or let him pay..
- Don’t Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls – most of my communication is done by text, M is terrible at texting back though so may have to call him instead from now on
- Always End Phone Calls First – Right so hang up half way through the conversation, got it
- Don’t Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday – What if I’m bored?
- Fill Up Your Time before the Date – Yeah usually takes me ages to get ready anyway
- How to Act on Dates 1, 2, and 3 – I need to read these chapters I think
- How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time – Why is she talking about commitment after date 5? Is this the dating timeline?
- Always End the Date First – Duh Its got to end at some point.
- Stop Dating Him if He Doesn’t Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine’s Day – My birthday is in September, that’s a long way off yet and certainly over 5 dates, so dump him because he got me a TV instead of a trip to Milian?
- Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week – That’s easy, I’m a busy girl you know!
- No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date – Sorted, but when is it OK to kiss?
- Don’t Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy – Wouldn’t dream of it (cough cough)
- Don’t Tell Him What to Do – Go against every fibre in my being? I’ll give it a shot
- Let Him Take the Lead – Got to love a man who is in charge
- Don’t Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him – Duh, stating the obvious there deary
- Don’t Open Up Too Fast – Why bother to open up at all? Or does she mean your legs?
- Be Honest but Mysterious – Don’t open up to fast, but be honest, and mysterious? What if he asks me something personal? wiggle my arms in front of his face and say “OOOO It’s a mystery” I’m sure he’d think that I was a right nutter and leg it!
I mean these are some of the rules according to one lady, Who is on husband number 2 I might add. To be honest, I don’t think much to them.
Me and M are getting ready for date 5 now, So there must be something in it otherwise why would we bother. Looking at those rules though, I’m already thinking, “Well broken some of those already”, To start with rule number 3 – broken! It was our first date, we sat opposite each other and my mother taught me to “Look people in the eye when they are talking to you!” also naturally there was a bit of Q&A going on so we both were talking. We didn’t kiss until date 3, but then on date 4 he questioned if I like him or not, so am I to think when we met on date 4 that I should have gone straight in for a pash kiss? I probably would have ended up tonguing his dog!
Taking all into consideration, I have decided to come up with my own dating rule’s!
Rule No1. Be YOURSELF
Rule No2. Be HONEST about yourself. If your lazy but would like to do more then say, “I’d like to be more active”
Rule No3. SMILE. There is nothing better than seeing a great smile, and it makes your eyes sparkle too, very attractive.
Rule No4. Be CONSIDERATE. Don’t expect him to pay for everything. Although M has pretty much paid every time we have gone out, I have always offered, with the intention of actually paying, Don’t just pretend to want to pay. Or if you meet in car parks like we do, take it in turns to drive. I know sounds dodgy but I don’t know him well enough yet to tell him where live. Oh rule 5!
Rule No5. Be SAFE! Don’t take silly chances telling people where you live! He/She could be a psycho!
Rule No6. COMMUNICATE. This is where I am rubbish. I’m not great at showing my emotions all the time, clearly.
Rule No7. KISS when it feels right, why stop yourself from doing something if it feels like the right time to you.
Rule No8. SEX, again, when it feels right for you but best bet is to wait a few weeks just to make sure that your right for one another, Trust yourself and trust the other person, Too many times have I jumped in head first, only to end up cracking my head on the bottom of the shallow end of the pool! It may feel great at the start, but if its all passion its going to fizzle out eventually. Take time getting to know each other, and each others bodies, its more fun. When me and M were having a little cuddle albeit awkward cuddle while he was driving the other night, it felt nice feeling his hand cup my shoulder, or stroke my neck. Build up is GOOOOOD!
So far I have 8, but I think they are a good 8, and dating is hard enough as it is without having to remember all of these rules. I dare not even think about a dating timeline yet. Although I am considering inviting M around mine this weekend so I can see him before Christmas as I am working, and not sure when it will next happen, Going to show him some lovey dovey me is he does come round. Any tips on being affectionate would be greatly appreciated by the way.
Lets see how these rules work out then. Ah stuff it, that’s Rule 5 of hers broken, I have just invited him for dinner! Haven’t heard from him today so I have initiated it but still, what’s the worst that can happen?!