Category Archives: Uncategorized

Sex in the Garden City

Well a lot has been happening since my last post and boy how things have changed.

To summarise, I last left of with Beardy, who in true form turned out to be another Houdini, totally vanished of the face of the earth. No bothered. Went on another date with some other guy which went well but wasn’t feeling it and now for the biggie! KIC turned into my own Mr. Big.  Yeah, I cant quite believe it either. I’m not even too sure how it happened really. One day he just opened up. As you may or may not know I left my party on NYE to go and see him. Well after I left him in the street i didn’t hear from him for a while and got a bit worried as he doesn’t know my town so I messaged the 2 Jamie’s, I got talking to the one he wasn’t with the next day just a few polite responses and idle chit chat. Or so I thought. Turns out the Jamie went back and said something to Big that changed his mind about us.

He wants the full shabang. He asked me to be his girlfriend a few weeks ago and I am yet to give him an answer. After everything that we he has put me through I believe that my reasons for holding out are valid. I mean, Self preservation is my number one priority here. He understands and is being patient but after over a year of on again off again i think he can wait just a little bit longer.

When I told Kate all of this she wasn’t happy at all, I know i gave her permission to slap me but I’m glad she didnt. I was sat in her car when i told her so it would have been one hell of a slap if she did. She’s warming up to the idea now i believe, she said to me the other day, “You’ll be together soon”

I don’t know if we will though, The whole time I have known him he has been trying to get into the MRP which I have supported him through, even though I am not keen on the idea at all. I will continue to support him, and he has made it clear that he still wants to commit to us when he goes in. Well what has he got to loose. Nothing. I’ve done the whole boyfriend in the forces before and I got bombarded with paranoid emails, family members checking up on me and a whole heap of worry that I could have done without whenever he got deployed somewhere. That’s a whole other story though.

Back to Big. I was working valentines day and then had arrangements in Brighton that weekend so I didn’t see him. The following week we went into London for the day. His treat (we’ve always gone dutch before). we went for lunch and also went to the The London Dungeons and also we had a night time ride on the The London Eye, It was the best Valentines day i had ever had.

We have been spending lots of time together lately and he practically is my boyfriend, I mean he drove me to an interview for uni and he waited all day in his car for me to finish. I guess all of this stuff is normal but I’m starting to see that I have never really had this sort of relationship before. We have been through so much and we aren’t even together yet.

Anyway, just thought I’d update you on the big stuff.

That’s the thing with dating sites…

Me and Beardy have been “dating” for 3 weeks now, it seems like much longer to me but it’s not, it’s just 3 weeks, and a great 3 weeks they have been.

Since that fateful first 24 hours I have thrown away all my caviar on plenty of fish. I’m still getting tons of notifications from ‘meet me’ and inboxed mail but I haven’t even looked to reply, to be honest I’m not interested. I do find myself wondering though, does he still check his mail? Is he talking to or worse seeing other people? I don’t want to get in the same position I was in with the mystery man, putting all my effort in to only have him vanish from the face of the earth! For all I know he’s back in Italy now! (The mystery man I mean)

I mean, I know Beardy likes me, I can tell by the way he looks at me, and the fact that he tells me. I just can’t help thinking it!

Does this always happen? How do you know if they are as interested as you are? I love the feeling you get when you meet that guy that just makes you want to be near them but I hate dating, it makes me feel insecure.

He’s bloody fit and a great guy.

I guess it’s a chance you have to take, I’m just scared of falling flat on my face!

P.S KIC is still trying his luck, he certainly had changed his tune, it’s like an invasion of the mysterons!

Best Way to get over a Hangover and be late for work?

On Thursday Beardy came round for dinner, I was cooking my famous toad in the hole and we had 2 bottles of red to have with dinner.

While we where cooking dinner, the wine had already started to flow, rather quickly actually and cooking dinner was interrupted occasional by lots of kisses and a bit of fondling, and top ups. I love cooking for Beardy, he washes up, peels and chops the onions and doesnt cry and he cant keep his hands off me! Love it!  Needless to say the dinner was still amazing. I’m quite proud of beardy as he is a bit of an eater, luckily for him I’m a feeder, or so my mother says, anyway he managed to save some for my house mate, who had gone to the shop to by more wine.

Getting back on point. We went through 5 bottles of red wine, 2 spillages, 1 on carpet which my house mate then threw salt all over. We had a party in our living room, had neighbours knock on the door (which we ignored) and then me and beardy went to bed, had some cuddles (loudly apparently, that conversation was slightly awkward the next day with my house mates fiancée at work)

So it turned out that in a drunken state I had neglected to set an alarm, or so I thought until it came to setting it last night! We didn’t wake up until 6.30am when we where supposed to have left by to get us both to work on time. As we where both already going to be late, I decided to be rather forward an initiate a bit of my own fondling!

I had a great morning, was an hour late for work but spent the day smiling and giggling instead of suffering with a serious red wine hangover, and to top it off, my boss didn’t even say anything about being late! Winner!

So, I set the wrong alarm, Instead of altering my long week alarm, I changed my short week. Was so funny when I discovered it last night!

Totally is the best way to get over a hangover.

20140201-103634 pm.jpg


So last week I had just finished work and was rushing to get to my class, My phone has been going a bit crazy on me lately, not sure why. I was trying to text beardy but instead accidentally  sent him a link to my post about him! Shit!

I text him immediately! “Dont read that please?!” deciding that a text wasn’t enough i called him. Luckily we had spoken about my blog previously and he knew that he, and the fateful chat up line featured in it! When we discussed it previously, He had asked what it was called but i refused to tell him as, as you are probably aware there is some content that he would rather not know! But now.. Well i had gone and sent it to him. He had a little chuckle about it, clearly hearing the nervous tone in my voice but he said that he couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t read it. After the call, I frantically went through my posts and privatised as many of the posts as I could. Shit Shit!

I saw Beardy again on Thursday evening, phew! We hadn’t spoken about the blog at all since, and then as we where preparing dinner, I don’t know why I asked but I had to… Did he read it? Yes he did, but being as great as he is, he admitted reading it, but only the post about him, I blushed as red as could be, but hey it could be worse right? And, he liked it 🙂

Green eyes and Beard Love

In my last blog I posted a chat up line that I used on green eyes…. “So green eyes are we going out?” Well guess what, it worked and we went out Wednesday evening after I finished my evening class.

He suggested the place and we met just near to it as I had no idea where it was. It was a nice little bar and we got pretty comfy in a little corner away from everyone it was brilliant! We had been talking for a few weeks but my replies where sporadic to say the least.

We talked and talked and before we knew it matey at the bar came over to inform us that the bar was closing! Devastating news! Nah not really, I suggested having a drink at mine! It came from no where but I was sure that I wasn’t ready for the date to end! We stayed up until 6am talking, comparing playlists and drinking a rather nice bottle of Hendricks. It was surprising how much we had in common!

After 3 hours of sleep and a few hours in bed having a cuddle I got up and made us some breakfast/lunch. And them we spent the day together. I dropped him off for the 9.20 train. I have to admit it, I was a bit sad he had to go but our first date had lasted a whole 24 hours!

He came over again on Saturday, I finished work and picked him up from the train station, he brought wine with him, and a nice wine too! I was very happy! Yet again we stayed up talking until the wee hours of the morning!

I’m very hopeful with this one! Very very hopeful.

I spoke with my sister for the first time since Christmas and told her all about him. She reminded to be careful because of how I felt with the mystery man and I’m not forgetting how I felt with him but at the sane time I think Beardy is worth it, or at least I hope he will be.

I’ve been trying to utilise positive thinking to my advantage and now Beardy walks into my life. Good karma? Yes please!

20140120-091608 pm.jpg


I have recently re-downloaded this app called SKOUT. I first downloaded it back in around March April time. I remember as I was on nights, and while working and being extremely bored I got talking to this guy, who I thought was a lovely boy from San Diego. Boy was he dreamy. I Googled him of course and checked out his linkedin info, he seemed pretty legit and actually quite normal. We were talking A LOT for a while! We Skyped, emailed, called (well he called me) everyday. It was so strange, I felt as if I had an online boyfriend. I remember speaking to my mum about him, and I actually considered going over to see him, and worked out how much overtime I would need to do to pay for flights and accommodation. Anyway, turn’s out he’s a bit of a sociopath, got a bit possessive over me and when I questioned about whether he still went on the app he had a major eppi! Safe to say I deleted his cute american butt in an instant. Phew! That was a close one!

So….. Why have I re-downloaded this app? Well to be honest, Firstly, Boredom, secondly I have a major thing for Mediterranean guys and there appear to be loads of cute ones on this app! I know that I am dating M, but we haven’t discussed exclusivity and its only talking right? Well I’m Skyping with one as I type.

To the point then Watson! last night, I was chatting to some guy, It popped up saying he was new, and he was hot so I virtually winked at him 😉 If I could have sent a voice clip saying “Hello Sailor” then believe me I would have! I asked the usual, “why are you on here?” He just said “I’m looking for someone nice to talk to as meeting people in clubs these days isn’t the best way to go” and “I don’t do one night stands”, I mean come on, We have all heard that one before! Get some original materiel matey, anyone who wont admit to having a one night stand has to be lying! I know they aren’t great but they happen!

I decided to continue with the conversation just for the hell of it, wasn’t long before he started asking for photos, I clearly have photos on my profile, He wasn’t willing to share so neither was I! His excuse was that he was a commercial photographer, he was still at work and any photos that he took with his ipad would automatically upload to a sever for processing! I don’t own an ipad! in fact I would love a good old fashioned type writer, but then none of you lovelies would even know that I exist! Anyway, I continued to refuse to send photos, now using the excuse, How do I know they wont get uploaded for processing?! I ended the conversation there but, Later on, I got a message from him again, this time asking for a photo of my feet! And Do I have nice toes? Seriously? Is this site the new Craigslist or something??

I’m still deciding on if I should just delete it again, or keep it just for the giggles! I was intent on enjoying a nice Earl Grey and hopping into bed with my two hot water bottles this evening, but the foot guy inspired me!

Your thoughts on this would be good. May even create a whole page on my blog dedicated to the wonders of Skout!


The Dating Rule Book?

I have been out on a few dates with M now, and even on our very first date he mentioned dating rules…

There are “rules” for everything these days, from how to survive a Zombie Apocalypse, The Skinny Girl Rules to Rules for online dating. I haven’t dated in the typical sense before, I usually have 3 dates and then either fall madly in love or become so terribly bored that I just delete the guy from existence. So, I am not sure of what normal dating is classed as. As I said, ever since Date 1 with M he has mentioned “dating rules”, and how he doesn’t understand them, or What is classed as breaking the rules? It has played on my mind ever since, and seeing as the other day he asked if I even liked him I am certain that I am not clued up on these dating rules, so it has made me think even more on what these dating rules might be, also if there are rules then does that mean that there is also a dating timeline?? If there is then I am screwed!

I’ve set about researching these so called “Dating Rules” and I have even come across a book, “The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right” – WOW This book really is something, below are the first 20 rules… FYI The parts in Italics, are my comments to said rules.

  1. Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other”    – What the hell does this mean? Be yourself?
  2. Don’t Talk to a Man First (and Don’t Ask Him to Dance) – These days your not likely to get anywhere with this one, especially if your searching online like me
  3. Don’t Stare at Men or Talk Too Much – If I think someone is attractive I cant help but stare, people naturally look at the most attractive thing in the room
  4. Don’t Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date- So pay for the whole thing or let him pay..
  5. Don’t Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls – most of my communication is done by text, M is terrible at texting back though so may have to call him instead from now on
  6. Always End Phone Calls First – Right so hang up half way through the conversation, got it
  7. Don’t Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday – What if I’m bored?
  8. Fill Up Your Time before the Date – Yeah usually takes me ages to get ready anyway
  9. How to Act on Dates 1, 2, and 3 – I need to read these chapters I think
  10. How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time – Why is she talking about commitment after date 5? Is this the dating timeline?
  11. Always End the Date First – Duh Its got to end at some point.
  12. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn’t Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine’s Day – My birthday is in September, that’s a long way off yet and certainly over 5 dates, so dump him because he got me a TV instead of a trip to Milian?
  13. Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week – That’s easy, I’m a busy girl you know!
  14. No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date – Sorted, but when is it OK to kiss?
  15. Don’t Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy – Wouldn’t dream of it (cough cough)
  16. Don’t Tell Him What to Do – Go against every fibre in my being? I’ll give it a shot
  17. Let Him Take the Lead – Got to love a man who is in charge
  18. Don’t Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him – Duh, stating the obvious there deary
  19. Don’t Open Up Too Fast – Why bother to open up at all? Or does she mean your legs?
  20. Be Honest but Mysterious – Don’t open up to fast, but be honest, and mysterious? What if he asks me something personal? wiggle my arms in front of his face and say “OOOO It’s a mystery” I’m sure he’d think that I was a right nutter and leg it!

I mean these are some of the rules according to one lady, Who is on husband number 2 I might add. To be honest, I don’t think much to them.

Me and M are getting ready for date 5 now, So there must be something in it otherwise why would we bother. Looking at those rules though, I’m already thinking, “Well broken some of those already”, To start with rule number 3 – broken! It was our first date, we sat opposite each other and my mother taught me to “Look people in the eye when they are talking to you!” also naturally there was a bit of Q&A going on so we both were talking. We didn’t kiss until date 3, but then on date 4 he questioned if I like him or not, so am I to think when we met on date 4 that I should have gone straight in for a pash kiss? I probably would have ended up tonguing his dog!

Taking all into consideration, I have decided to come up with my own dating rule’s!


Rule No2. Be HONEST about yourself. If your lazy but would like to do more then say, “I’d like to be more active”

Rule No3. SMILE. There is nothing better than seeing a great smile, and it makes your eyes sparkle too, very attractive.

Rule No4. Be CONSIDERATE. Don’t expect him to pay for everything. Although M has pretty much paid every time we have gone out, I have always offered, with the intention of actually paying, Don’t just pretend to want to pay. Or if you meet in car parks like we do, take it in turns to drive. I know sounds dodgy but I don’t know him well enough yet to tell him where live. Oh rule 5!

Rule No5. Be SAFE! Don’t take silly chances telling people where you live! He/She could be a psycho!

Rule No6. COMMUNICATE. This is where I am rubbish. I’m not great at showing my emotions all the time, clearly.

Rule No7. KISS when it feels right, why stop yourself from doing something if it feels like the right time to you.

Rule No8. SEX, again, when it feels right for you but best bet is to wait a few weeks just to make sure that your right for one another, Trust yourself and trust the other person, Too many times have I jumped in head first, only to end up cracking my head on the bottom of the shallow end of the pool! It may feel great at the start, but if its all passion its going to fizzle out eventually. Take time getting to know each other, and each others bodies, its more fun. When me and M were having a little cuddle albeit awkward cuddle while he was driving the other night, it felt nice feeling his hand cup my shoulder, or stroke my neck. Build up is GOOOOOD!

So far I have 8, but I think they are a good 8, and dating is hard enough as it is without having to remember all of these rules. I dare not even think about a dating timeline yet. Although I am considering inviting M around mine this weekend so I can see him before Christmas as I am working, and not sure when it will next happen, Going to show him some lovey dovey me is he does come round. Any tips on being affectionate would be greatly appreciated by the way.

Lets see how these rules work out then.  Ah stuff it, that’s Rule 5 of hers broken, I have just invited him for dinner! Haven’t heard from him today so I have initiated it but still, what’s the worst that can happen?!