Monthly Archives: November 2013

Day 3, Date 3 M = 4×4 Pick up & Hendricks

I couldn’t wait to tell you about this one!! Needless to say I had a great time tonight despite him being 20 minutes late to pick me up!

M seems like a really great guy, we have loads in common, we both love going in random adventures, travelling, being outdoors and doing outdoor activities! He seems like he can’t stand to be doing nothing most of the time so he seems like real fun! He’s off to wales tomorrow for the weekend in his 4×4 and I’m jealous that I can’t go!

Anyway, when he finally picked me up he got out of the car and introduced himself, a good start I guess, he helped me climb into his 4×4 defender, and then we set off for town. We got a drink and sat down on some comfy chairs, a good start. The conversation flowed, lots of good eye contact, his body language was also good and there where lots of laughs and smiles.

We have loads in common and he already said “we’ll be crazy together” and also “I wish you could come this weekend” something tells me that if things go well then you might be hearing about lots of random adventures.

Once he is back we are going to go out again next week.

🙂
Maybe a but keen but we’ll see.

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Day 2, Date 2 = J Pub Date

After class last night I met J in a pub not that far from my house.

I text him to ask him where he was sat and he said you’ll see me as soon as you walk in. I was nervous, I hate walking in to places on my own as it is, let alone when the place only has other customers. There were two older couples in there and a really barman.

He was sat at a table with high stools, no backs to them so I had to sit all prim and proper, he already had a drink, I want late so he clearly got there early. Anyway we went to the bar, he bought me a drink and we went back and sat down.

We were getting on fine and I had to go to the toilet, so all was fine apart from no toilet roll, GREAT! Rummaging around for a tissue from my bag and the inside of my bag was soaked! Somehow, from leaving my car and going to the toilet a can of relentless had exploded in my bag! Yet again GREAT! No toilet roll, soaked tissues, diary (which is new and beautiful) make up bag, phone charger and emergency biscuits totally disintegrated! Couldn’t get any worse! Luckily it didn’t!, so I dashed to the other toilet, got some toilet roll, sorted myself out and then started working in the contents of my bag in the shortest time possible! I grabbed all of the hand towels I could and stuffed them in my bag and returned to the table!

I apologised for taking do long and explained what happened, I then proceeded to empty the contents of my bag and started cleaning.

Apart from the exploding can ruining my new diary we had a good chat, we have a few things in common and he seems pleasant enough. He lives with a friend, takes his mum to bingo and had stayed up the previous night looking after his poorly dog.

The pub was closing and we had both finished our drinks, didn’t leave any option to carry on the date so we decided to leave. Our cars where parked next to each other so we stood talking for a little while, and I’m seeing him again on Sunday, maybe.

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Day 1 Date 1 = L Shopping and Dinner

Yesterday L came to pick me up at around 2pm. We did consider going into London for the day, but to be honest I didnt have the energy so we decided to go to MK shopping instead. He a good boy really, I decided that I wanted to do my christmas shopping while we where out so he came all around the shops with me and didnt complain once. 

When we first started dating, well over 2 years ago now, I hated shopping, However since we departed I have apparently honed the shopping skills that every boyfriend hates. I can justify this, as I didn’t by myself one thing! I was tempted to by a lovely coat that has a gorgeous faux fur white collar! A text to ma soeur confirmed i was doing the right thing “It looks nice and warm, Not on the credit crd?” This one has to wait until pay day! haha!

After we had finished shopping we went to wagamama‘s It was lovely! I remember the first time we went to Wagamama’s had a lovely little feast where he photographed me sipping my Ramen from the traditional spoon! What a mess! Have you seen those things! Thank god he has seen me at my worst, that could have been a first date disaster! Good to know for the future though! Chilli Squid was divine also if you decide to go and haven’t tried it! To be honest I have never had a bad meal there and they give you plenty!

So after the shopping centre, I thought while we where near by we may as well go to Ikea! I just cant help myself when I know I am near an Ikea! As i have said I could quite happily live there! I bought some frames and happily framed my lonely prints when I got home.

L came in for a while, my house mate came home, she has met L before but still felt weird, I’m not sure if I told her I had been seeing him again or not as I have hardly seen her lately! Anyway we went upstairs to my room, Arranged my art and then watched some cartoons on my laptop, Just like old times 🙂 this time though, I’m enjoying it.

I’m not prepared to look into the reasons why I am enjoying it just yet but we’ll see

Date 2 Tonight with J


7 Days 7 Dates, well nearly

This is the fist time I have sat at my desk and posted in a long time! So much has been happening that even I have found it hard to keep up with myself so I have been posting while on the go! Today, is the first day of 7 days annual leave that I have from work, So I thought while sitting pondering over plans whilst enjoying my tomato soup and chamomile tea I would let you all know my plans! What has turned out to be a relaxing week is turning into a very busy week.

It’s coming up to the year anniversary of when me and casual first decided that we liked one another. If you follow my blog and have been keeping an eye on our progress/failure then you will know that it is now well and truly over. So! To celebrate(and keep myself busy) I have decided to go on a dating marathon so to speak. Even though I like casual, I knew deep down it wouldn’t end where I wanted it to, so I have continued on my little quest to find a guy.

 

Date Number 1. Monday = L

It may not be the done thing, Or it may be the case as I have done it a few times now throughout my life, When things haven’t been going the way I have hoped, I’ve always somehow managed to get back in contact with an ex. My last real boyfriend ended because he didnt have much about him, I bossed him around and I totally overtook his personality, He was a complete mummy’s boy and had a dead end job, so over the year and a half of being with him, I made slight adjustments, clothes, new job, better prospectives, but at the sametime as I said I wore him down and ended up feeling like a bitch so I ended it. Anyway! Over the last month and a half we have been talking again, and for the last 3 weeks we have been out on a date a week, and they have actually been really fun. So I’m seeing him today, we are going Christmas shopping. 

 

Date Number 2 . Tuesday = J

I have been talking to this guy who lives in a village not far from me from POF. We have only been talking for 2 weeks, but I’ve found if you leave it too long then usually its not going to happen. So we are going to meet in a pub we both know tomorrow evening. Im not that nervous, Kate actually knows him, said he was a bit of a tool when she knew him but that was a long time ago so who knows. 

 

Date Numer 3. Wednesday = R or M

I still haven’t finalised plans with these guys but it will be one of them. They are both also from POF. R is an Essex boy, not usually my type but he looks and sounds sweet, maybe too eager but we shall see!  is more of a manly guy, he has his own business, is the outdoors type and also seems really nice. If I don’t see him Wednesday then he will be date number 7/Sunday.

 

Date Number 4. Thursday/Friday = Girl Date! I’m going home to see the bestie!

Ok, so its not a guy date but it is a date, im more excited about this than any other the others, I haven’t seen my home bestie since the beginning of September! I am rattling like a crazed crack fiend!

 

Date number 5. Friday = Girl Date with Kate!

I know i am seeing her this weekend, and I really want it to be on Friday so I’m not hung over with possible date number 7 on Sunday.

There is also R2 a professional guy from London, I’ve spoken to him most days for the last week on the phone, he’s a business accountant or something, so going to try and fit him in too!


A week later

So last Wednesday after college I saw casual, I had had a rather emotional day at work and was not in the best of moods, so I asked to see him, of course he was up for it.

Over the course of the evening I managed to consume two bottles of red and had ordered him to massage my back and feet and then one thing led to another.

For the last few weeks little things that he has said it done had kind of lead me to believe there was more to us than what met the eye, and this experience convinced me of it, two people are not the way we were without there being something between them. I couldn’t stand it anymore so I blew my top and everything I had been thinking/feeling came pouring out along with floods of tears and my own embarrassment.

There I was naked, crying and had serious bed hair going on! I must have been a right state, but the message had been delivered, “if you don’t want all of me, you can’t have any of me”

He then asked “we’ll still be friends though?”

No.

All week I have been struggling to not text him, today was particularly hard and as I was about to crack, he text me. This was at 11 this morning, I’m yet to read the text. Kate has told me to delete it and his number but I’m not ready for that.

I don’t know how this is meant to work, finish it and hope he realises that he does want to be with me, text him back and then after a few months slip right back in to where we were? (This has happened once before and Kate went mad at him, this time it’s 100% my fault, Kate warned me)

Anyway, I’m glad my emotions where reeking havoc last week otherwise I’d still be trapped in the cycle, however, my emotions or hormones are running wild still and I’m missing something other than him…


Time for an ultimatum?

It’s been a while since my last post so I will quickly catch you up with Keeping it casual and I.
Flash back to Flat Pack Furniture Casual and myself went to Ikea and bought some bits. One day a few weeks he had spent the night at mine and in the morning he asked me if I would help him put it together. So we went for breakfast and then I followed him in my car to his. Lots of cars on his drive way. His mums and his dads. Needless to say I was shocked. Bear in mind that in the whole time I have known him I have never met anyone from his life. So I met his parents. Twice now to be precise. On another occasion he was talking to one of his friends and said “Hold on ***** will know” and then proceeded to ask me a question, shock number 2! So his friends also know about me. There you go all caught up.

Ultimatum –

1. A final statement of terms made by one party to another.
2. A statement, especially in diplomatic negotiations, that expresses or implies the threat of serious penalties if the terms are not accepted.
I’m starting to wonder if its about time that I pulled my socks up and moved on from Keeping it casual. After seeing each other for 10 months on and off I think that I am going to have to say it how it is. I cant really fault him though,  from early on he has said that he cant give me what I want and I have continued to plod along thinking “I’m OK with it” when really I am far from OK with it. Part of me wants to be with him, I’m not sure what part of me it is exactly, it could be my competitive side thinking, I’m going to make him want me!! I’m going to win!  Or it could just be my lady parts because I enjoy him! Or another option is that I always want what I cant have!
Lately when we have seen each other it has been what I would call more like quality time together, our work schedules are conflicting somewhat at the moment so when we have been seeing each other it hasn’t just all been about one thing. One day I went around his after work, he washed my car, I made small talk with his Dad and brother and then we went back to mine had some dinner and then went to the cinema. This is not the first time we have been to the cinema but it is the first time this year so that tells you how long ago it was! He has started telling more about himself and things in his past, some of the things I am one of very few people to know, and he has just started to be more open in general.
Last week he stayed over, and we had a really nice evening, my house mate went to bed early and we stayed up watching movies until very early in the morning and then we went to bed. In the morning we where talking as we always do and he comes out with “last night was different” when I asked him what he meant he couldn’t explain himself very well, he was referring to our bedtime activities, not the films. He then went on to say that over the last 10 months since he has been seeing me he is the happiest he has been in a very long time, and how he wishes he could have met me when he was 16. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! I was rather pissed off to say the least and for a change he was spot on with his emotional radar and he picked up on it. Bad joo joo! He then tried to explain himself further but as I was already pissed only one thing could have made me happy again at that time.  So he continued… “I just mean that you make me feel good about myself, I can be myself around you and say what I want and I know that you wont take the piss out of me or judge me”, “If I met you when I was 16 things would be so different now”
…….
I felt like my head was going to explode. It took all of my power not to turn around and scream in his face. I was just laying there with my back turned to him so he couldn’t see my face, I was silent because I was scared of what I might say. He then asked “Are you ok? You’ve gone quiet” my reply ” I’m fine” it was all I could muster but all I could think was If I make you happy then why the fuck don’t you want to be with me, You say since you have been seeing me your the happiest you have been in your life but you still don’t want to commit to me, despite the fact that we are clearly amazing together! No, I didn’t know you when you where 16 but I bloody know you know so make it different!  And last but not least NO I AM NOT FUCKING OK!!!!
I wish now that instead of thinking all of this I had just come out and said it! Then there would be no need for an ultimatum as it would already be over…. Or not.
What a friend of mine did gave me the idea of how to do it. It worked for him and next month he is marrying the girl and they are going to live happily ever after 🙂 They had been friends for years, and they saw each other regularly and he loved her, so it was obviously hard for him to have these feelings towards her and have her not admit that she felt the same so, he refused to see her for months until she realised that she did love and miss him and in turn want to be with him. Whenever I see them together it makes me happy to see two people so in love. I’m hoping that I have the balls to do what my friend did. It can only end one of two ways, but in all honestly I don’t see myself walking down the happily ever after route just yet, not with casual anyway.
To be or not to be? That my friends is the question.